Posts (page 2)

.and something else in that song, don't remember.  I'm in Reno, sober at 3 AM...  Max and my pops are sleeping, my Dad drove Max and I down here on Saturday and I've since lost lots of dollars.  But that's ok, this place is great.  I've been eating steak and shrimp like I fear my demise.  Max and Dadio are heading out at 7 am this morning, leaving me to fend for myself in this overwhelming/ lonely place for a few days.  The nights here are awesome, 85 degrees at midnight with a serious breeze.  The weather is dry, which is nice.  I haven't got any pictures up but I will.  I took a video of my house which I'll try and post here or link to.  There are a serious amount of beautiful unapproachable women here, which is seriously unawesome.   So that is my brief uninspired description of this mysterious town.

    Poker has been lousy to me, but I had a slump buster the other night.  I got wasted drunk and realized I was quite literally invincible.  It's funny, but somehow I knew, even while losing, that it would take one crazy drunken night to end the madness of poor play and awful luck.  People often call me a drunk and on occasion an alcoholic, as far as I'm concerned alcohol just treats me better than it treats others, and thusly I give it the respect and attention it deserves. 

    I watched about 30 meaty women practice roller derby today in a town square.  The police station is located in a movie theater.  I just had a thought, the women may be slightly more approachable if I'd wear something other than a dirty YMCA t shirt with holes in it...  it's pretty soft though, I think I'll let it soften up by wearing it for a few more days, women are mean anyways.  If I were blind I'd be really mean to people, grumpy handicapped people always put a smile on my face.  Not only were they shafted in life but they're pissed off too??  And I think running bad in poker is a bummer, being a gimmel with a bad attitude is considerably worse.  I leave Reno August 31st back to Oregon, I may stay in Eugene for a few weeks until I secure a place in Portland, once I get there I'm getting a pet duck and putting a cape on it.

Wish me luck

    Once upon a time there lived a lonely, hateful ol' codger.  His name was Richard.  One day as he was walking to the market to buy himself a multitude of ducks, he discovered something.  On the ground was a shiny token.  Written on the token was; "One Free Duck".  Needless to say he continued on his adventure and one of the three delicious ducks he purchased was free.  The End.

    I'm going to Reno, should be fun. I'm going to miss Portland, especially my friends.  I plan on drinking a lot in Reno but that'll be weird without my favorite drinking buddies, particularly Sticky.  I'll probably post a lot more in this blog and use it as more of a journal. 

    POKER:

    I've been practicing playing micro limits while drunk to get prepared for Reno.   The 27s are treating me well and I have a volume played bet going on with my online poker buddy Kevin.  That should help me acquire a bankroll for Reno.  Cash games are tough for me, as patient as I am I still can't quite tighten up enough or understand position enough for cash.  I want to do some tutoring for online players for a little extra money.  Not sure if I have that ability but it combines my current job, poker, with my goal job, teaching.  I'd probably offer my services for cheaper than most people and I kill low limit SNGs so someone would pay for my help.  I plan on doing this in Reno when money will be scarce if things go poorly.  I've been doing poorly the last week on SNGs but am making the proper adjustments and getting back on track, I tilt far less than I used to.  I wish I had some more poker buddies to sweat me and help out though.

NOT POKER:

I've pulled a Double Dander and got involved with someone that logic dictates I should not.  I'm having a good time, and hope she is as well.  Some of my friends aren't a big fan... Luckily I don't give a shit.  And by luckily I mean, "good thing people's opinions on my decisions means very little"  Even if it was a mistake I'd still do it, mistakes are fun as hell.

    Fugazi is awesome, listen to them.

    So it's been a while since I posted, too lazy and preoccupied I suppose.   Just got back from the clubehoue a few minutes ago.  The clubhouse is one of three bars withing 3 minutes of where I live, it is usually the last bar we hit up being the farthest distance, also beer is pricey.  So we get there and order a pitcher of newcastle, which is 12 dollars!!!!!  Shortly after I had this conversation...

Double: (Smile, laugh slightly)
Zack:  Double what is funny?
Double: (leans in to say something in zack's ear, changes mind) oh.... nothing.
Zach:  come'on,  what is it?
Double: See that thing?  (points to Bushmills whisky napkin dispenser)  Imma get it.

Anyways, I got that napkin dispenser, which was very very hard being on of 7 people in the bar and that being right on the bar in front of her where I was sitting.  I gave it to sticky because that is his favorite liqour, which is why I targeted it in the beginning, that and expensive beer spite.

MK had to face a football team 4v13 this week.  That was fun.  5on5 flag football and our team has been depleted by injuries and pussywhipedness, we had 4 total while they had a full 5 plus 8 subs.  We put up a hell of a fight, putting up 59 points to their 80..  Sounds lopsided but really we played our best football of the year. Also, on the last play of the game our opponents were trying to run the score up on us throwing the ball deep..  Knowing this was coming I organized the finest defense of all time, I shouted to the rest of the team to stand on the goal line, wait till they snapped the ball and moon their team bare ass.  They scored a touchdown and we were given an unsportsmanlike penalty, but overall I call it a victory.  Black Boss Porter is a fine find drink, I recommend it to anyone.  A bit over a pint, 9.5% alc and 2 bucks at john's.

Drama is funny but not so fun.   Ashland kids make me chuckle day in and day out.

Girl, boy, game you should have won, job you should have gotten…tell us about one that got away. 
Submitted by Phil.

All I had to do was stomp one more kitten and eat one more whale fetus and the 100 dollar Fear Factor prize would have been mine.

    I ended a two and a half month bender about a week and a half ago. I haven't had a drop of booze since and boy is my mind working hard.  My mood is impossible to explain, I'm slowly realizing what I want from life and how to accomplish these things.  I'm extremely proud of myself for my proactive attitude towards self happiness, it's made every single action have meaning.  These things, put into text at least, are vague and confusing but are extremely profound. 
    When I ended my bender my immediate response was "I got nothing done during that time, what a waste".  I quickly realized that there was nothing wasteful at all about drinking my days away and spending all of my money on fried foods and bowls of booze (Scooters is the best 800 sq. feet in all of Portland).  Not only was it fun but it was enlightening.  Delirium has always been important to me, throughout my life delirium has taught me so much It's times when the real world is moving at such a different pace than my mind and my actions that I have the most important ideas/thoughts of my life.  My newest revelation is that I can turn any activity, whether it be drinking all weekend or reading a book, into an extremely valuable time for self reflection.  And self reflection is the key, in my opinion, to efficient happy living.  I spend a good two hours a day thinking about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. 
    Life seems so simple at times like this, live each and every day to it's fullest and treat people around you with respect.  When I say simple I don't mean easy, because that would be boring. 
    My ankles are finally getting better and I've been at the gym a lot lately, which is great.  Poker is treating me extremely well and I have some lofty goals.  I hope to pay off all of my immediate debts (credit card, Max, my Dad) and after that start saving money to pay off my 13k in school loans from the last couple of years.  By my estimation I'll be able to pay off my 15k+ in debt in the next 12 months.  I'm thinking about starting a poker blog to keep myself always thinking about the game even when I'm not playing.  And I'd get to brag about how I'm doing!  If my poker prowess were a land mass it'd be Greenland.   I'm working on a pretty nice baby hook in basketball, it's going well.

    To conclude, the last two weeks have been fucking awesome.  Poker going well, basketball going well, made humus, ate some sushi and no geese attacks!  If I could get laid things would be perfect, although getting laid usually comes with the terrible consequence of having a female around.  unless.... 

What an eventful past couple of weeks it has been.  Hilarity has ensued but memories of what exactly was hilarious have been drowned out by many types of sweet sweet booze.  I've been on a month long bender, drinking has been taking up a big part of my time since I sprained my ankle, then sprained my other ankle.  Not being able to play basketball is driving me up the walls. 
    Aaron, Matt and his girlfriend Nicole and myself all went on a road trip to see a band called Raq.  They are a hippy jam band and are pretty good although not exactly my thing.  We departed on Thursday to Elmira to stay with my Dad. Friday morning we took off to beautiful Arcada California.  We stopped at a grocery store when we got past the border and bought a half gallon of moderately priced vodka and begone our adventure. Aaron and I made ourselves some drinks. this was around 3pm.  The drinking game was;  drink when you see a sign.  That was a nice kick start but impossible to keep up.  By the time we arrived in Arcada Aaron and I were sloppy drunk.  We called Max's mom Valerie and got ourselves a place to stay.  When we arrived at Valerie's house Matty was there and stoned off of her ass on weed she stole from Al.  Matt and Nicole took a nap and Matty, Aaron and myself went to pick up Valerie.  I bought her a six pack of beer and when we got to the house she drank 4 in about 30 minutes and was trashed.  So it was me, Aaron, Matty and Valerie drunk off of our asses sitting around the kitchen table talking shit about Max and Sam and we ordered some Chinese.   Soon we took off to the venue to see Raq.   Aaron and I played some pinball and ordered a few pitchers of beer.  The show was awesome and we danced the night away.  I made fun of the bass player for wearing a patriots hoody.  Mid set Aaron and I went and got stoned with some homeless people and bought weed from some drunk dude.  We arrived back at Valerie's and made sandwiches, went to sleep.

    Saturday was much more laid back, we woke up and got some breakfast and headed for stupid Eugene to see Raq at the Wow hall.  I didn't really enjoy the show that night but learned to dance like a hippy.  We stayed at my brothers gross party house that night and came back to Portland the next morning. 

So that was my vacation, it was nice to escape techno music, loud shower sex, people bitching about every single commercial on tv and the constant mess of MK house.

    I'm literally a maniac these days at poker, I'll spare the details but I'll say this;  I'm going to be rich soon then all of you bastards will know my true powers of intoxication and gluttony.  I miss the two people who actually read this blog on occasion, hope you guys are well. 
Oh, and I made some leader boards on a poker site.  www.sharkscope.com look me up.  bazookadub

What was the worst job you ever had?
Submitted by salaryman.

Oiling spoons and shining hippos asses.  or digging holes in the sun.

I have conquered all logic and science. again.  As I've been bitching about for about a week my ankle has been swollen and hurty. I was getting a bit bitter, some might say madly mad.  So here I am last night crashing on Mya's couch and I can't sleep.  This happens often and if I'm at home I get up and take a hot shower or watch tv, but I do not have the options at Mya's place.  So, I sat on the couch, telling my foot how to feel.  I told it I was angry that it was hurt and that it needed to be better by Tuesday evening or I couldn't play IM basketball.  And when I say I "told" it I mean that I sat for 2-3 hours using all of my energy to entice it to become better.  And wouldn't you know it, vast improvement this morning.  It was at about 40%, and in one long night of cold sweats and an inability to sleep it is at about 65-70%.  Take that fates!!!

Now to get my ipod music onto my computer, damn you internet.

How have people mispronounced your name?  How is it supposed to sound? 
Submitted by Lorie.   

        they say it like "double"  its supposed to sound like Alex

    People keep telling me to stay off of my foot for at least a month.  This seems a bit extreme to me.  If I could get my swollen hoof into my shoe I would be playing basketball right now.  Speaking of which, aren't foot size and penis size supposed to be related? Shouldn't I be seeing some improvement? Well I'm not and I'm naturally a tad bitter.  There seems to be a correlation between the knowledgeable and the cautious that I'm not a big fan of.  The only people who aren't talking out of their asses recommend absurd amounts of recovery time.  I wish I lived in the old west, then things would be different.

"You're going to need lots of time, give it a month or two"  -Modern day advice, Translate into old west;
"Your goin' to need lots o' time, give it a day or two" 

"In the meantime, take it real easy on it, walk as little as possible around the house, try to stay sitting or laying for a bit."  Translate;
"In the meantime, take it easy, stick to lighter things like riding your horse, getting into bar fights and fraternizing with hookers.  Avoid gun fights and ankle hammering competitions if you can."

"Make sure you ice it regularly, keep it elevated, take ibuprofen to reduce the swelling, use a brace or ace bandage" or;
"I dunno, whiskey will probably take the edge off the pain and if it's real bad more whiskey is recommended"

In all seriousness it doesn't hurt but is swollen as hell.  I'll be back to basketball in a week.