5 posts tagged “drunk”

I feel like my life is going pretty weird, but man, I have a few friends that I really worry about.  I don't know what the hell to do, I love them to death but feel completely helpless to make them feel better.  Does anyone know what to do?  Christ..  that's right.  Jesus, shit in his diapers when he was a baby, fucking christ.  I hope everyone is doing good.

Also, I have to stop writing these when I'm drunk, they kind of string together in a sad way. One of these days I should sit at my computer, with a case of something strong, drinking, and making a long detailed trip report of what it is to sit and get drunk in front of a computer. (don't worry, that's not tonight).  Problem is that I'd try and make it more epic than normal because I would try and make it entertaining.  Maybe I'll take a journal of another person, but that's not quite as accurate because it's hard to pay attention to someone else's drinking habits and behaviors for an entire night.  Maybe this is a boring, slightly egotistical idea, but... I don't care.  Seems interesting.

Playing a tiny bit of guitar lately, that's super fun but frustrating because I am really bad.  Which, of course I am, I've never really played.

Also, I'm hungry.  I would give my soul for a turkey.  Off to pound an icehouse. gross.

Free market is still true, just dumbed down these days because of consumers. We could have 14 different computer OS's but people aren't comfortable with that. Comfort is the name of the game, and by comfort I mean: "predictable". That's how Shari's and Denny's and Red Robbin all stay in business, travelers find them to be "comfortable". Of course I blame, to some extent, big companies and manufacturers for producing such a limited range of supply.  But think of people you meet and talk to. They are generally pretty fucking dumb. 

Are we being dulled by the wal marts and GM's of this world, or, as a people are we completely controlling them and creating them?  I think my main complaint is that I hear people bitch about wal marts and other massive companies coming into town and creating evil.  But,  How often do we actually attack the fuelers of such a market?  The consumer.  yuh know, I get shit for being "impolite", "rude", and an "an asshole", but I believe I'm doing god's work in making fun of things they should be made fun of about.  It's a bunch of jesus loving, truck driving, morons who shop at wal mart,  But we won't attack them?  PC gets in the way of attacking the true villains.  The dumb.  Ever talked to a guy in a nascar hat that you were glad you talked to? yeah, me either.

That's my rant.

What's short, fat and hateful,
wears purple,
and fucks old ladies?

...Me! In my lucky lavender Polo!

  last night I went out with Brian (Brain)  to take some pictures.  But before that we decided to have Irish Car Bombs for dinner.  We each took four of those with extra whiskey added in each, then took a few straight shots of whiskey for good luck. I shaved while drunk, which I didn't realize until I looked at my mug this morning. Anyways, we head out to downtown to get some dinner and play some craps. The problem is Brian is wobbling so violently from side to side we can barely make progress down the street. I'm not so bad but I'm in no shape to help a friend out, we'd just end up in a drunken pile on the desert ground. I snap some photos with my digital camera with the intention of putting them up on vox the next day (today of course).  We arrive at a park bench where Brian decides to take a break, he promptly pukes behind said bench and continues to do so for the next five minutes.  At this point I'm not enjoying seeing him vomit and have passer byes look at us and laugh, so like any good friend I give him my keys and ask him if he knows how to get home, he nods as he pukes and I stroll on. I get to Harrah's for some late night steak and shrimp, the 6th time I've enjoyed this meal in 13 days.  My usual waiter Xavier is there, he is a big black man with a beard and a funny laugh.  We generally give each other endless amounts of shit. "I enjoyed the tip you stuffed in the dinner roll last time you were here" he comments.  I laugh. I stuff my face with haste and take off for home.  I call Brian to see if he made it home all right, no answer.  As I stumble to my front door I have a bad feeling Brian isn't home and I'm locked out.  That is the case.  I go around back and crawl through the window, which is a great thing to do at 2 am in a terrible neighborhood with upstairs tenants who might shoot me in the ass as I crawl through.  Brian is no where to be found.  Not a lot I can do except hope he's not in jail or asleep on the street, which are both very likely.

    The Morning
    I wake up at 6 am, Brian is here asleep.  Normally I wouldn't wake him up but I'm pretty curious.  I kick him awake and ask him what the hell happened, he smirks and rolls over.  I still haven't found out.  The next thing I do is hook my camera to my computer and check the pictures.  Of 14 photos not a one is is decent.  They are all so bad and ugly I can't even post them on here, I suppose I'm not the best drunk photographer in the world.  So, that's last night.

    So it's been a while since I posted, too lazy and preoccupied I suppose.   Just got back from the clubehoue a few minutes ago.  The clubhouse is one of three bars withing 3 minutes of where I live, it is usually the last bar we hit up being the farthest distance, also beer is pricey.  So we get there and order a pitcher of newcastle, which is 12 dollars!!!!!  Shortly after I had this conversation...

Double: (Smile, laugh slightly)
Zack:  Double what is funny?
Double: (leans in to say something in zack's ear, changes mind) oh.... nothing.
Zach:  come'on,  what is it?
Double: See that thing?  (points to Bushmills whisky napkin dispenser)  Imma get it.

Anyways, I got that napkin dispenser, which was very very hard being on of 7 people in the bar and that being right on the bar in front of her where I was sitting.  I gave it to sticky because that is his favorite liqour, which is why I targeted it in the beginning, that and expensive beer spite.

MK had to face a football team 4v13 this week.  That was fun.  5on5 flag football and our team has been depleted by injuries and pussywhipedness, we had 4 total while they had a full 5 plus 8 subs.  We put up a hell of a fight, putting up 59 points to their 80..  Sounds lopsided but really we played our best football of the year. Also, on the last play of the game our opponents were trying to run the score up on us throwing the ball deep..  Knowing this was coming I organized the finest defense of all time, I shouted to the rest of the team to stand on the goal line, wait till they snapped the ball and moon their team bare ass.  They scored a touchdown and we were given an unsportsmanlike penalty, but overall I call it a victory.  Black Boss Porter is a fine find drink, I recommend it to anyone.  A bit over a pint, 9.5% alc and 2 bucks at john's.

Drama is funny but not so fun.   Ashland kids make me chuckle day in and day out.